Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sacrifices Of A FTWM

When I knew I was pregnant in 2005, the thought of being able to care for my baby full-time as a SAHM has crossed my mind several times. But in reality, the high living standard, responsibility, commitment and obligation are tying me down with one word "MONEY". Seriously money is never enough in my dictionary because we need to pay for the mortgage loan, car loan, medical bills, children's daily needs & educational expenses...etc..the list can go on & on. 

Relying on a single income is possible but I choose to work simply because I want to have an extra income to provide for my mum, my children & to help out in the family whenever we need any additional expenses. Although I'm not a high flyer nor working in a job that I'm passionate about but at least I am bringing bread & butter back home to help release some financial burden for the family. Work also helped to move my focus away from home for a while so that I'm able to regain back some sanity.

No doubt, I had to go back to workforce after the maternity leave. I missed out most of the children's "FIRST" moment when I left them in my mum's care but my mum was kind enough to capture most of it on pictures or videos so that we can share the joy together. Luckily my mum is staying with me otherwise the thought of leaving them under unreliable caregiver is very daunting & stressful.  


Seriously, the cost of hiring a maid is increasing every year. I'm still contemplating whether we should really employ one so that we can rest more & spend more time as a family. Of course, the thought is very tempting but I'm still holding on until I cannot take it anymore. So now I'm still the "maid" at home serving 3 small + 1 big babies (children + hb). 


How much help is rendered to families with financial needs is limited. If we don't have enough money, I can't possibly sit back, wallow in pity & wait for help. In fact, I have 3 children who needs money to go through proper education in order to make sure they know all their "ABC & 123" before they start their primary school education.



I do have my stress when the children gave me problems or when I am having a bad day at work. My days looked grey & lifeless at times too. I will tell myself that it's not a big deal & hope my children will learn to appreciate the sacrifice I've been through one day.

Linking up to:


MummyMOO


17 comments:

  1. Amie,

    Totally agree about the 'sanity' part... and we are so fortunate to have reliable alternative caregivers! I also will not leave the boy in the hands of a maid when he was younger.

    Still trying to come to terms with leaving him at childcare :(

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    1. Dun worry, I'm sure C will get used to the routine very soon.

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  2. I feel the same about being away fron home in order to " gain your sanity" . We need that ...there's so much pressure and no matter how much we love our children, sometimes is overwhelming ... I don't work full time,my kids are too small and I'm lucky enough to do the kind of work I'm passionate about...I never felt guilty, on the contrary ...
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts
    Greetings from Greece

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  3. Hey, thanks for sharing so honestly. You are great, to be doing it with no maid, and still be blogging! Where do you find the time and energy? Although sometimes I think that work gives us more energy :)

    Good job! Jia you!

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    1. Time management...blog at night, blog during meal times in the office. We are surviving days without the maid & enjoying the privacy for now :)

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  4. Thanks for linking up! I think a common theme amongst us FTWMs is the availability of good, reliable, LOVING care for the kids whilst we sweat it out at our jobs.

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  5. oh yes.. missing out some key milestones... big sacrifices. cheering you on!!!

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  6. Money got to be one of the reasons why we work, right :)

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    1. For sure money is one of the most basic reason why we work, otherwise how to survive?

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  7. Yes I also want to know how you find the energy without a helper? really kudos to you! :D keep it up!

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    1. Me? I have my meltdown at times too but hanging on till I have no energy one day..

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  8. You are blessed to have a mom who can help you with your kids. Some of us are suited to be SAHMs, while many of us just need to work to regain our sanity, and need to have more opportunities to have adult conversations. Having babbling conversations with babies day in day out is not exactly something everyone will look forward to. Glad to hear that this arrangement is working great for u.

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  9. It's not easy being a FTWM but you have done well juggling it all, and u are indeed blessed to have help with caregivers u can trust with your kids. Some of us do well as SAHMs, while more of us can't deal with facing our kids 24/7, have a lack of adult conversations and be babbling to a baby all day. It's amazing though how u can deal with having 3 kids and no one to help with the chores

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